I’ve always had a bit of a don’t ask, don’t tell policy in my personal life. Even hanging out with a bunch of super gays I’ll often use gender-less pronouns partly to mess with people but also because I really hate that constant coming out feeling. This is triply true when it comes to my family so I’m sure I am largely to blame for the following story.
My current lady friend and I have been together for about three years now and are planning on moving in together once my lease is up early next year. It wasn’t a easy decision for a variety of reasons including her stupid cats, wildly different lifestyles, loss of personal space and commitment issues. Another big part for me has been the fact that I would have to tell my family of the new living arrangement and now that I’m back in the same city as they are, there will be a lot of questions and scrutiny from the extended family.
As I’ve said, she’s been around for three years now and have met my family on numerous occasions. They invite her for celebrations and sometimes I bring her with me anyways and watch family and friends ponder her presence (”who’s that white girl sitting in the ‘family’ section?”). Often if I show up alone, my parents ask why she’s not with me and send me home with food for her. All this to say that even though it has never been explicitly stated, they know about her, her relationship to me, and seem to like her well enough. It’s been a long, hard-fought road but one that’s getting smoother everyday. Smoother, however, doesn’t necessarily translate to feeling comfortable talking about relationships and the lady friend was aghast that I had yet to mention our co-habitation plans.
So the other night, I was in the car with my parents we were talking about rent and property taxes for no good reason that I could think of and it seemed like a nice segue to talk about moving in together in the vaguest, most abstract and awkward way possible.
Attempt 1: So I think I’m going to move when my lease is up.
Result 1: Why, what’s wrong with where you are now?
Attempt 2: I’m moving to a bigger place.
Result 2: You mean your apartment isn’t big enough for you? How much space does one person need? Etc, etc.
Attempt 3: Well, I’d probably move in with Lady Friend…maybe…
Result 3: Oh a two bedroom! That’s a good idea I guess. It’d be safer, less lonely, cheaper too….
And there you have it folks. Come March, I’ll be getting a new roommate.
Clearly I have gotten to a point in my life where my independence trumps filial piety; rather than taking it as a denunciation of my life as I may have in the past, this episode highlights the line that makes my parents’ minds implode. Does not compute…does not compute….