Happy birthday. Even though you don’t read this blog or even know it exists really, I’m writing this anyways because I don’t have anything coherent to say on my blog just quite yet and so once again you’ve helped me out just like that time when I was in kindergarten and you were in [...]

While I think I’m supposed to be flattered that you carded me for buying beer, the legal drinking age here is 18. Eight. Teen.
Also, if you’re going to decide to start checking IDs, you should perhaps be old enough to have your own driver’s license so you can figure out how to [...]

Dear cute girls with sad blue eyes,
Please do not look at me. Do not show any interest in me whatsoever. Don’t even sneeze in my direction. Better yet, wear dark sunglasses around me. If we’re talking photos, please ’shop a dark bar across your eyes. If you do not [...]

That cut-eye I gave you when you handed me my change was not, as you erroneously assumed, because I thought you a moron for being so slow calculating my change. It was because I thought you a moron for getting all Cocktail with my bottle of wine. Seriously, who spins a bottle of [...]

Here’s an idea: QUIT IT WITH THE COFFEE!
Yours truly,
brain

It is nearing 2am and yet again, you refuse to tire. Last night, I kept you company till you finally let me go at 4 in the morning; blatantly ignoring my not-so-subtle hints that I needed to get up early.
I have stayed up with you every night for almost a week now [...]

Allow me to give you a few tips:
You are not handing in a thesis. This is an assignment for a first-year course worth only a quarter of your grade. There is no need to get the assignment bound. This only creates extra hassles for us and will not get you a higher [...]